Have you ever felt like you were expendable? Like if you didn’t show up, no one would really notice? I know I have. And oddly enough, one of the first times I ever put words to that feeling was thanks to Rambo.
Yes, that Rambo.
In First Blood Part 2, there’s a scene where Rambo is on a boat heading up a river with his guide. She asks him why he was sent on this mission, and he responds, “Because I’m expendable.” She doesn’t understand, so he explains: “It’s like if you’re invited to a party and you don’t show up, nobody really cares.”
That line stuck with me. Hard.
Because that’s exactly how I felt for so much of my life. Like if I didn’t show up -at a party, a work event, even in conversations -no one would really care. And if no one cared whether I showed up, then why bother?
Looking back, I realize that was a story I told myself, not the truth. People did care. They were happy to see me. But I had already convinced myself otherwise. And once you believe something like that, you start acting like it’s true.
I made myself small.
Not because anyone asked me to, but because I assumed that’s how I was supposed to be. I would shrink back in conversations, avoid putting myself out there, and hesitate before stepping into spaces where I belonged, all because I thought my presence didn’t really matter.
But then I came across a simple but powerful message from a creator I follow on TikTok. He said something that hit me square in the chest:
“If you don’t want people to see you as small, stop making yourself small.”
Oof.
It seems obvious, but for years, I had been doing exactly that. I saw myself as small, assumed everyone else did too, and, in turn, acted in a way that made that perception a reality.
So over the past year, I’ve been working on flipping that script. I’m learning to step into spaces with confidence, to believe that I belong, not just in the room but in the conversation. And you know what? When I stop making myself small, people stop seeing me as small.
Funny how that works.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some overnight transformation. It’s a process, one that takes intentional effort. But the more I show up fully, without shrinking back, the more I realize that people are happy to see me. They do care if I’m there.
And I bet the same is true for you.
So let me ask you. Have you ever made yourself small? Have you ever convinced yourself that your presence doesn’t really matter? Because I promise you, it does.
Drop a comment or send me a message. Let’s talk about it. Because you belong in the room. Every single time.