Just Be Dad

Just be dad. Just be there.

When they need someone to hold them.

When they need someone to care.

Just be dad. Be a star in your child's eyes.

Be the superman they already think you are.

Just be dad. Just be dad. Just be dad.

This is the chorus of 'Just Be Dad,' a tune I wrote as a 'note to self', weeks before my son was born. In this piece, I'd like to dive much deeper into the message than a 4-minute pop song allows.

(listen to 'Just Be Dad' here)

The premise of the song boils down to the fact that 85% (yes, I made up that percentage) of being a dad is simply being there. Just be there. By 'be there', I'm talking about being present. Be there physically & be there emotionally. Be there for your child. Play with them. Read to them. Sing to them. Dance with them. Teach them. Be silly.

The same could be said for almost anything we do in life. Just be there. Look at your place of employment. I'd be willing to bet that just showing up & doing your job puts you in the 85th percentile of your coworkers. Am I right? I knew it. Now that we're in agreement, let's move on to another very important point.

Be there for your wife! This should & will be the focus of an entirely different piece, but I'll just say this. She is working so much harder than you & doing so much more than you & she is doing it all like a boss while her body & psyche go through changes that you could never imagine. Be there for your wife & never, ever complain to her about how hard you have it, or how tired you are. You're not tired & you don't know how good you have it. Be there for your wife!

Okay. Let's examine the verses:

Verse 1:

Will you be 'Cool Dad?'

What kind of dad will you be?

Will you be the dad the other dads all really want to be?

Well, here's a secret.

You won't be that dad. & that's okay... yeah.

You won't be 'cool dad.' And that IS okay. You know, in your heart, that you were never really cool. Neither was I. Also, neither is the 'cool' guy from work, or the gym, or your wife's Yoga class.

The beauty of being a father is that your child doesn't give a damn if you're cool. You're 'dad.' You're their world. They'll have plenty of time to figure out that you aren't cool (i.e. the teenage years). Right now, you are a super hero & all you have to do is be you and be there. In your child's eyes you are John Wayne.

Verse 2:

Will you be 'Funny Dad?'

What kind of dad will you be?

Will you make them laugh while the other dads all seethe in jealousy?

Well, here's a secret.

You're not that funny. & that's okay... yeah.

Sure, you think you're funny. You're not. Go ahead & ask your wife. I'll wait... She confirmed it, didn't she? Again, that's okay. Your baby doesn't care. Tell all the dad jokes you want, or don't. They'll still love you more than anyone deserves to be loved.

Just be dad! That's it. Be there for your child. Be there for your wife.

Here is the bridge & one more chorus to take us out.

You're not that cool & you ain't funny,

but you're fine. Here's the plan.