Back to Square One (But Not for Long)
One of the things that led to a little slip in my “speak up and be seen” mission recently was… I got someone’s name wrong.
Now, I’ve been working hard on this. I've been very intentional about remembering names when I meet people and using them often. Because people love to hear their own name. It builds connection. It makes them feel seen. And as we all know, if you repeat the name several times, you're way more likely to remember it.
But a few months ago, at a Dad’s Night Out (one of my big monthly social pushes) I, very confidently, addressed a fellow dad by name… and was completely wrong!
It was embarrassing. Humiliating, even. Honestly, it was one of my worst fears realized. And it made me instantly understand why I used to avoid saying people’s names altogether. For years, I’d just say, “Hey, man!” or “What’s up?” Anything to dodge the chance of getting it wrong.
Because here’s how my brain works (and maybe yours too): even if I’ve interacted with someone multiple times, the moment I go to say their name, my inner monologue jumps in like, Are you sure? Are you 100% sure that’s their name? Suddenly, it doesn’t sound right. It’s like when you write a word you’ve written a thousand times and it suddenly looks weird and wrong. You completely psych yourself out.
That’s what my brain does. Every single time. The number of thoughts I have to sort through before I even open my mouth is ridiculous. Someone should really study it (I'm sure they probably have, though not on me… yet)
So after that name-flub, I felt myself shrinking back. One little mistake and suddenly it felt like I was right back at square one.
But here’s the good news: the other night, I tried again. I showed up. I made conversation. I used people’s names, and this time, I think I got them right. Nobody gave me that confused squint when I said goodbye.
So… maybe we’re back on track. And maybe square one isn’t such a bad place to revisit, as long as I don’t set up camp there.